A Single Leaf
by TheLuckyLlama17
Summary: A day in the life of the team as the struggle to cope with the aftermath of Reid's death if he hadn't been resuscitated by Tobias Hankel in Revelations ...Sorry I don't write very good summaries! :D RxR - rated T just to be safe :D
1. Prologue: The Cemetary

**AN**: No matter how much I want to, I will never own Criminal Minds in any way, shape, or form :)

This idea came to me after watching a youtube video about the same thing...I hope you enjoy my little story! ^^ Reviews greatly appreciated :D (and I'm sorry...I know this chapter is short...I shall try to write longer ones in the future! **determination**)

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Warm sunlight filters through the gently waving trees, illuminating the faint, suspended dust motes swirling through the air. The light traces bright patterns upon the green, grassy floor, like steppingstones to another world.

Ancient trees, majestically beautiful, shade the timeless wrought iron fence that surrounds the peaceful field. At several sections along the fence, leafy ivy circles the metal posts, springy vines curling off in abundance. Forest green, bushy shrubs line the exterior of the iron, brambles intertwining with the fence itself.

The aroma of pure air permeates the atmosphere, seeming to caress each visitor in it's clean embrace. High above, highlighted against a brilliant robin's-egg-blue, thin, wispy clouds sprawl across the wide expanse of the sky. The faint taste of fall wafts through the air, crisply chilly. The air seems to bristle right upon the edge of ice: freshly cold, cracking with vitality. A serene silence permeates the surroundings, bringing a feeling of all-encompassing peace and stillness.

This grass-lined cemetery is home to several large pieces of stone, some elaborately carved in the hallowed shape of God's messengers, others bearing a mix of crosses or stars. Many are humble, time worn, and faded; an occasional few are huge, hulking buildings, grandiosely styled.

A frigid breeze sweeps through the already nippy air, ruffling the trees. A few leaves separate from their branchy homes and drift down towards the earth below. A single, green leaf, tinged with subtle yellow, spirals slowly through the air, coming to rest upon one of the many stones scattered throughout the field. This particular slab is engraved simply, with only a name, no typical religious depictions.

DR. SPENCER REID


	2. Chapter 1: Morgan

**AN**: **sigh** I still don't own Criminal Minds...unfortunately. YAY! The first chapter :) :) :) man, I thought this was a long chapter! But it looks so short! ..''

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CLANG CLANG CLANGCLANGCLANG CLAAAAAAAAAA - a large hand stifled any of the alarm clock's further complaints with a hefty slap. SSA Derek Morgan, of the famed BAU stationed in Quantico, Virginia, sat up and sleepily rubbed his face with the hand not busy using his alarm clock as a punching bag. Shaking away the sleep-induced slowness, Morgan crawled out of his warm bed and padded softly across the cold floor to his bright yellow restroom. Glancing around at the canary yellow walls, he allowed himself a small smile: at his close friend's urging, he had used the bright paints as a distraction, refusing to allow himself to wallow by busying his hands. While the cheerful color had not made it to the rest of the stark white walls in his apartment, it still provided a nice respite. He remembered the mental note he had made long ago to never ignore any of Penelope Garcia's advice.

As he splashed the ice-cold water sloshing into his sink across his face, he was suddenly hit by a wave of unwanted memories: a childish voice crying out in pain; the harsh, evil laugh creeping out of the darkness; the final, conclusive thud as the convulsing head hit the floor. The recollections appeared with such force that Morgan found himself gasping, out of breath, seated on the floor (where he had sunk when his knees had given out). Startled and out of energy, Morgan leaned back with a deep sigh: it had taken months before he had been able to sleep before being forced awake by the fiendish nightmares, and he had thought that he had finally put the worst stage of grief behind him. Shakily, Derek stood and weaved towards his closet, still slightly nauseated by the onslaught of memories.

Pulling on his snazzy, professional suit in an almost mechanical fashion, Morgan's mind wandered. Never one to shy from death, he had made no effort to forget his nerdy friend (the youngest member of the crack BAU team, Dr. Spencer Reid) merely to move on from the circumstances of his death and memorialize him in a way more fitting of the young genius. Nonetheless, he had found it exceedingly difficult to rest at night and to function normally with the horrid death of his friend continuously on his mind. Derek had always felt protective of the younger man and had vowed to himself that the day Reid's chronic bad luck caught up with him would not be a day on Morgan's eagle-eye watch... Yet that was precisely what had occurred. Although he hadn't been with Reid when he had been kidnapped and carted away by Tobias Hankel, the serial killer they were chasing at the time, a nagging feeling of guilt remained.

Now fully dressed, Morgan snagged a breakfast bar on his way out the door and haphazardly slung his briefcase across the passenger side seat as he flung himself into the intimidating black SUV that was standard issue for the government employee. Driving on autopilot, Morgan continued mentally recapping the events since Reid's untimely death. For a week after they had discovered the corpse, handcuffed in an upturned chair, exactly as they had seen in the live video feed (Morgan suppressed a shudder), Derek had thrown himself into his work, determined to overwhelm his grief with his duties. When that had failed to succeed, he had immersed himself in the clubbing scene, destructively spending his time partying and getting wasted. Although he had kept his activities a secret from the rest of the team, it didn't take a degree in rocket science to uncover Morgan's disastrous new habits. Surprisingly, however, he had managed to pull himself out of the self destructive spiral he was trapped in, before a serious intervention was required: one day he had woken up and asked himself what he was doing with his life... And didn't like the answer.

Still musing over past events, Morgan pulled into the allotted space outside the intimidating FBI building where he spent a majority of his days. As he strode through the heavy doors separating the interior of the building from the wild reality of the exterior, Derek shook off his melancholy air. They had caught the bastard, he reminded himself, and delivered the justice he deserved - the man had decided to go out with a bang rather than submit to the authority of the police. Having successfully prepared himself to greet the new day and it's challenges, Morgan swiped a cup of steaming coffee off the counter and casually placed his aviator shades upon the bridge of his nose. As he entered the etched glass doors leading to the Behavioral Analysis Unit, he ran into fellow agent Emily Prentiss. Gallantly opening the door for her, he followed her into the bustling bullpen.


	3. Chapter 2: Prentiss

**AN**: Still wish I did, but still don't own Criminal Minds. Snap. :) Okie dokie! Now it's Prentiss' turn! ^^ The next two chapters are JJ and Garcia, and since I wrote all this on vacation (which I just returned from) they are complete...but I found those two the hardest to write so I want to snazz them up a bit before I publish them :) RxR everybody ^^ and drat again! I thought this was a long-ish chapter 2! xD

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Emily smiled thankfully as she walked through the proffered open door, throwing a "Thank-you!" over her shoulder at Derek Morgan, who continued to hold the door until she had passed all the way through. Emily laughed and chatted with him, ribbing him about his fashionable designer shades (which merely provoked him into a dazzling, mischievous grin), as she made her way to her well-organized desk. Plopping down in her comfortable swivel chair, Emily scanned her orderly desk with satisfaction: every paper in its specific place in a neat pile along the side of her desk, a comprehensive assortment of pens resting in her metallic, cylindrical pencil holder, and a cluster of lined Post-it notes covered in multiple to-do's. Ever since Reid passed away several months ago, she had felt the compulsion to keep everything in an oppressive, tidy order (although she would be loath to admit any correlation between her newfound cleanliness and his death).

Prentiss, as her superiors tended to refer to her, had always been proud of her ability to compartmentalize, a trait that had served her well in her field of work. When the team had been stuck in Tobias' family home, helplessly watching their friend and coworker being mercilessly tortured over a live feed, she had shuttered her feelings into a corner of her brain and focused 100% of her attention on finding and saving Reid...but even she struggled to keep the tears out of her eyes when she watched him take his rattling last breath. Back in the present, Emily shook her head to clear away the dark thoughts: no use crying over spilt milk, she chastised herself (although a small voice in her brain reminded her that Reid was worth much more than a flimsy glass of white milk).

Intent on exorcising the unwelcome thoughts from her mind, Emily pulled open her desk's drawer, rifling through the papers inside for something to take her train of thought off the track it was heading down. A colorful corner sticking out of the bland white stack of documents caught her eye, and she gently teased it out of the stack. It was a photograph, slightly wrinkled from being awkwardly pressed between the papers in her drawer for so long, and Emily pulled it out and laid it on the desk to observe it better. What she saw took her breath away in a painful woosh: it was a photo of her, her long, dark hair pulled up in a functional ponytail, laughing freely with a tall, slightly awkward man next to her. His face was lit up with a geeky smile, the sight of which nearly broke Emily's stitched-up heart and sent her train-brain full kilter down the road she had been struggling so hard to avoid. _Reid_.

Emily managed to push herself up from her seat with her arms and rush to the bathroom before she gave in, leaving in her wake an understanding Morgan, who had seen the whole play of events from his nearby desk. Once in the bathroom, Emily hastily dunked her head into her hands, which were brimming with chilly water. As the water streamed down her face, she stared up at her reflection in the mirror: eyes squinty, skin blotchy, face pinched with emotion. "This is not the face of a professional FBI agent!" Emily yelled at herself, even as the small part of her brain encouraged her to let out her emotion, to finally give in to the grief that she had sequestered to the furthest corner of her brain time and time again. She attempted, valiantly, to compose herself and failed miserably as she dissolved into long-pent-up tears.

10 minutes later, Emily emerged from the dark, miserable hole she had been sucked into. Oddly enough, she thought to herself as she wiped away the last remnants of her tears, she felt much better... The deep seated grief remained but she felt like the heavy load that had been draped across her life for the past few months had been lifted. Shaking her wavy, shoulder-length hair out, Emily lifted it up into her typical, practical ponytail as she pushed open the heavy bathroom door with one hand, her comfy working shoes squeaking across the impeccably clean tile floor. As she passed through the door she bumped into a harried JJ, who quickly steered Emily towards the bullpen, rapidly informing her about a new briefing.


	4. Chapter 3: Jareau

**AN**: **sob** still want to, still don't own Criminal Minds **depressed sigh**

YAY! :D I finally convinced myself just to put this chapter up and to stop obsessing over it :3 This was one of the harder chapters for me to write, I hope you enjoy it! I'm sorry if it seems out of character =..=; Thanks muchmuch to the people who have read and favorite'd my story ^^ Still hoping for some reviews (I can't make it better unless I get some feedback!) But I'm content just to know that people are reading it! :D

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JJ brushed her long, blond hair out of her face, eyeing the collected appearance of her coworker, Emily Prentiss, with unabashed jealousy. If only she, too, could present such a cool, calm facade...brushing her envy aside, JJ continued to fill the only female profiler in on the upcoming briefing. As they hastened through the main BAU room to the secluded briefing room, JJ spied Morgan and Emily share a compassionate glance. Wondering as to its origin, but not overly curious, JJ continued into the briefing room, balancing the large stack of papers in numerous manilla folders expertly. As she entered the room, Emily and Morgan close behind, she spied a stony-faced Hotch already seated at the table, and Gideon, who was standing next to the door, relieved her of half of the monumental amount of papers she was carrying. Sending him a grateful glance, she prepared to brief the profilers as she waited for them to assemble.

The trained team settled in quickly, reviewing the packet of materials she had passed out to each individual. JJ settled into the monotony of the briefing, covering every minute detail mentioned in the report in a completely impassioned voice. The digital clock on the round table showed noon, and JJ wondered where the day, the week, the month had gone. As her mouth continued to form the words her eyes read on the documents in front of her, her brain wandered off, to a dark night in a decrepit barn... She crept around the dank corner, gun drawn and held steadily in front of her, her flashlight illuminating a small circle of space in front of her... Suddenlythe beam landed upon a pair of flashing yellow eyes and dripping fangs, which lunged at her, rancid breath flowing through her nostrils...

"JJ? JJ are you ok?" JJ snapped back into reality and saw a circle of concerned faces staring up at her, wondering why she had suddenly trailed off in the middle of her routine briefing with a look of pure terror on her face. JJ laughed, too quickly, and shrugged off their inquiring glances, turning around to point out a detail on the overhead, ignoring the intense scrutiny currently being aimed at her. The briefing continued without a hitch, to all outward appearances, but inwardly, JJ's mind was in turmoil. She had never forgiven herself for splitting up with Spencer at the barn, for allowing him to enter the treacherous wheat field alone. If only she had called for backup right away, if only she had stuck with Reid, if only, if only... The numerous things she felt that she should have done that night welled up in a huge wave and threatened to drown her in guilt.

When she had forced herself to watch Tobias' latest webcam murder, she had done it both to prove herself to be worthy and as a self-inflicted penance for what she considered to be her greatest mistake. As she watched Reid being tortured, beaten, and abused, she had wished that she could take his place, that she could be the one kidnapped; anything to help appease her guilt for being the one to walk away, physically unharmed, from the affair.

Just as her chain of memories trailed to an end, so did the gruesome briefing. Hotch ordered the team to be prepared to leave early the next morning: they had to finish up the last aspects of the case they had just wrapped up so that they could deliver their full attention to the newest case. JJ began to pick up some of the excess files, stacking them in a neat pile on the desk, as Hotch talked. As the team filed out, Gideon stopped and put a reassuring hand on her arm before asking her to please inform Garcia of the team's plans. JJ nodded comprehendingly and forced herself to portray the appearance that she appreciated his concern, when, in reality, she wanted to yell and scream, to tell him that she wasn't worth his pity, that it was better if he gave his compassion to the endless victims the team dealt with on a daily basis.

On her way to Penelope Garcia's bright, computer-monitor covered office, JJ took a brief detour to the bathroom: no one would notice the minute time discrepancy if she moved fast. Stepping into the spacious, clean bathroom, she locked herself in a small, plastic-lined stall and pulled a signature orange bottle of prescription pain pills out of her knapsack. She rolled the bottle over a few times in her hand, seemingly contemplative, before popping the white lid and swallowing, dry, 4 pills. Ahhh, she could feel the medicine coursing through her body, alleviating the pain that weighed her heart down, as if with cement weights. With the bottle still in clear view in her hand, she stepped out of the stall - and straight into the plump figure of the BAU's brilliant technical analyst, Penelope Garcia. JJ immediately palmed the pills, nervously laughing as she slipped them into her purse. Looking into the oddly serious, funky-glasses-framed eyes of Garcia she tried to come up with a lame excuse for her pain pills, eventually settling on just telling the blond computer whiz that she had just been on her way to see her, fancy that.


	5. Chapter 4: Garcia

**AN**: OK, so I **finally** convinced myself to stop fiddling with these last couple chapters and to just friggen' upload them! :D 2 more team members to go...the day is slowly drawing to a close :) and I know the chapters are short...I am sorry... the next two are the shortest xD thanks much to MwandishiMsanii for my first review! Squee! =^-^=

DISCLAIMER: I'm still saving up $$, but, at the moment, I do not own Criminal Minds. Darn.

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Penelope Garcia may spend the greater amount of her time monitoring emotionless computer screens and hacking seemingly air-tight databases, but she was completely in tune with the human emotions of the serial-killer catching squad she supported. So, when she ran into a pale, haggard JJ exiting the FBI bathroom's minuscule stall with a near-empty bottle of pain pills in her hand, she knew something was up. Ever since Reid's shocking death, JJ had blamed herself, and had become increasingly emotionally withdrawn from the team. Penelope had tried to reach out to her before, but had been stonewalled at every opportunity. This time, however, she wasn't letting JJ go.

Garcia had always worn her emotions on her sleeve, and now was no exception. Obviously, JJ could tell what the normally bubbly Penelope had in mind, because, when a lame attempt to circumvent Garcia failed, she completely broke down, spilling her guts about the pain pills, the grief, the all consuming guilt... An hour later, JJ finally finished her story, with her head cradled in Garcia's loving arms. Garcia felt like sobbing at the agent's obvious pain, but forced herself to keep strong, for JJ's sake. As she soothed JJ, Garcia contemplated the best course of action: obviously JJ had to attend a rehabilitation program, but for now she didn't think it was the best idea for her to be alone. When she voiced these concerns to JJ, however, the beautiful blonde sat up and immediately wiped her salty tears away, protesting that, after opening up, she felt convinced that she could spend the night alone. Luckily, JJ agreed to visit an addiction help center and promised to talk about it with Hotch,confidentially, right away. Wrapping her arms around Penelope in a huge hug, JJ ran off, her steps still spelling untold grief but with a buoyant quality that Garcia hadn't seen in her for months.

Still musing over the events in the bathroom, Garcia meandered back to her office. Ever since her close, gawky friend had passed away, she had become increasingly protective of the remaining members of the team. She had pushed away the immediate guilt that had flooded over her when her "virus notification" had been the primary cause leading Hankel to snap, telling herself, honestly, that she had been doing her best to negate his power and the fact that backfired was out of her control. She was so convincing, in fact, that she almost believed it herself.

As she set up the feeds for the team to use when they contacted her from their new location, she could almost feel Reid's awkward but lovable presence in her cloistered office, leaning against her cluttered desks and competing with her at crossword puzzles. Garcia smiled inwardly, it had always baffled him as to how she had been able to circumvent his genius IQ and she had looked forward to the day when he had figured out that she had been hacking the newspaper database and finding out the answers before hand all along...a single tear formed in her eye as she remembered that that day would never come. Briskly wiping away the salty droplet forming in the corner of her eye, which she firmly told herself had no purpose being there, Garcia grabbed one of her hot pink, fluffy-tipped pens and proceeded to list out the maps, occupations, utilities, and other lists the team was likely to ask for, based on the packet someone had conveniently left on her desk next to a bag of chocolate chip cookies. Penelope broke out into a full-on, dazzling smile at that - she knew the cookies were courtesy of her favorite chocolate hunk of love, Derek Morgan. Like she always did, she set aside a single cookie in honor of her favorite boy genius.

Garcia knew Morgan probably was just finishing up his paperwork at the moment, so she slipped out of her corner office to personally thank him for the cookies. As she passed through the narrow, industrial hallways she spied JJ nervously talking to a stoic-looking Hotch, through the slat blinds on the windows. His eyes widened for an imperceptible moment at something she said and he quickly closed all the blinds, sealing himself and JJ off from the rest of the world.


	6. Chapter 5: Hotchner

**AN**: AHH! This one is almost as short as the prologue! And I have the nagging feeling that Gideon's is even shorter...Oh well... Anyways, the ice-cream-chilly Hotch is the second to last member of the team...it is now late afternoon...Please RxR! If you catch a typo or mistake let me know - I'm more than willing to go back and fix it :3 and no, I do not own Criminal Minds, although I often dream about it :DDD

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It takes a lot to shake up SSA Aaron Hotchner, but when Agent Jareau slipped nervously into his office and proceeded to tell him that she was struggling to overcome a destructive pain pill addiction, even he was thrown off balance. He quickly closed all the wooden blinds in his office, to prevent nosy eyes, and gestured for her to sit and explain in depth.

An hour and a half later, Hotch sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, as he often did when contemplating serious, personal matters. JJ had left thirty minutes ago, after revealing one of her darkest secrets to him. The two had discussed therapy sessions and Hotch had recommended a particular Addicted Anonymous group for addicts in law enforcement. She had appeared to take him at his word and honestly want to turn her life around...from the way she told it, it seemed like he had Penelope Garcia to thank for her sudden change. He really needed to find a way to give that woman a raise... She had been similarly indispensable in catching Tobias Hankel after he had ditched Reid's body in his run-down cabin in the woods.

Just the thought of Reid took Hotch's breath away, and he was glad that he hadn't raised the blinds lining his windows. Normally his cold, icy demeanor provided a barrier between him and the memories of his youngest field agent, but, tonight, his defenses were down due to JJ's revelation. There had been a special place in Hotchner's heart for the brilliant young man, whom Hotch understood possibly better than Reid had understood himself. Pulling out the battered film canister that Reid had used, all those years ago, as a rocket (to the bafflement of Emily and Penelope), Hotch rolled it around in his hand, feeling the smooth plastic container. He was not one to dwell on the past, but Hotch was glad for this small memento of his dead agent... As the leader of the team, Hotch felt a responsibility towards all the BAU's members, and the loss of the agency's prodigy had hit him hard. He had pulled through worse, however, he constantly reminded himself, and he couldn't let his grief interfere with his ability to lead the BAU.

A chilly, strictly professional attitude was Hotch's trademark, and nothing could ruffle that appearance. However his heart ached on the inside, he remained a stern and guiding hand externally, leading his team through many more gruesome killings as the routine of case, investigate, solve became a welcome pattern. Hotch used whatever means necessary to help his team move on from their coworker's death and stick together.

He wasn't blind or ignorant, though, and he could see the effect Reid's death was wrecking on his team. Prentiss had stayed chill as a cucumber through the entire experience, but his trained eye could detect the fine cracks running through her porcelain surface; meanwhile, Morgan had attempted to use anything and everything to distract himself from the reality of his buddy's death - Hotch had been close to calling the man aside and talking to him about his activities when Morgan had managed to pull himself out of the cycle of destruction (an accomplishment that highly raised Hotch's regard of the agent); JJ had distanced herself from the rest of the team and operated on a mechanical level; he was aware that Garcia always set aside one portion of any food she happened to be consuming in honor of her personal genius; and Gideon...well Gideon was so wracked with grief that it surprised Hotch that he managed to work at all. In fact, he knew Gideon was probably sitting in his nearby office, reviewing the latest case and wallowing in the memory of Reid, who was quite possibly the person Gideon was closet to out of the entire team.


	7. Chapter 6: Gideon

**AN: **Hello everybody! Thank you for sticking with me to the very end: this long day has drawn to a close. I hope you enjoyed, and will continue to enjoy at least for the rest of this chapter!, my story :) And woop - sorry that the chapters seemed to get shorter and shorter as the end approached! Eeck! xD Feel free to let me know what you think of the story overall or just the ending: whether you think it makes sense or if you would've liked to see the characters go down a different path - I'd love to hear your thoughts ^^

Disclaimer: Despite multiple wishing-upon-a-star's, I still don't own Criminal Minds. Phooey.

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Jason Gideon, was, in fact, relaxing in his office, as Hotch had predicted. At the moment, Jason had his head in his hands, a position unconsciously similar to that of his friend's. On the sturdy, oak desk in front of him, a lined journal full of photos was open to the most recent page, adorned with the picture of a lovely young woman who had fallen prey to the team's latest sadistic serial killer. Nearby, an old-fashioned chess set was still set up in the last game he and Reid had played - he had re-enacted the chess battle at least once a day since the agent's death.

Gideon knew, deep down, that the young prodigy's death was not entirely his fault... But the fact that he had played an active role in pissing off Reid's captor over rode that fact and drowned him in guilt. At the time, he hadn't even been able to stay in the same room as the computer screens, marred with his failure to save the young man. As immature as it may have seemed, he just couldn't bring himself to remain in the same room as his team, whose blame (real and imagined) he could practically see rolling off them.

Like he did nearly every night, he flipped the notebook back a few pages to a page pasted with the photo of a nerdy, young man, his longish hair flopping into his eyes as he mischievously looked up from a hand of cards. Gideon sighed and let himself be carried away by the memories of the young man who had understood him the best. He recalled innumerable chess games, brilliant discoveries, plane-ride card games, naive moments, and, lastly, a tragic death.

Oddly, this time, he could feel himself rebelling against the urge to dwell upon the consuming grief and guilt... Ever since the last case, when he had successfully saved the last victim of a mentally disturbed killer, he had felt something inside him shift, almost like the last obstacle being passed. Now, as he remembered Reid's untimely death, he wasn't completely swallowed by the yawning maw of grief; he felt almost placid, accepting, serene. Gideon rested in the feeling for a moment: he was aware that he had not completely overcome his grief, but there was peace in knowing that he had gotten that much closer after months of pain.

Jason could tell that it was now inky dark outside, or as inky as it gets with the city's light pollution, and he stood up, grabbing his jacket in the process. His fingers lingered over the photo of the genius, before closing the notebook with a musty finality. Gideon opened his door and stepped out into the artificially lit hallway, knowing that he had one last task to accomplish before going home for the night...

As he thought, his workaholic boss was still in his office. Gideon softly closed the door behind him and sat in one of the comfortable chairs in front of his superior's desk. Hotch glanced at him and wordlessly comprehended the reason for his visit, pulling a packet of files out from a polished drawer in his desk. Silently, he handed Jason the top half of the files. Gideon contemplatively read the title, APPLICANTS FOR THE BAU, before flipping open the folder and reviewing the documents inside. The team had worked down a man long enough.


End file.
